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World-Hero21

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Late Updates

4 min read
This is fine1

...As if the pandemic didn't kill enough people already. :stare:


I know this is a month late. It's been chaotic all month long and I kept forgetting to post this until now. Part of me is still kinda reeling from the fact that not only did I survive a pandemic that has already eerily paralleled history but also surpassed the national death toll of the Spanish Flu...But 2 years later, I'm now living through what is almost essentially WWIII, started by a guy who turned out to be worse than Trump. I honestly didn't think that'd be possible. So...Congrats, Putin. You've gone and made that a thing now. Holy. fucking. shit.


The needless bloodshed is horrible enough, but I'm also fucking pissed off about how he's basically gaslighting everyone. As if the rest of the world was born yesterday.

"There are Nazis and genocide in Ukraine!"

...Right. Like Europe would definitely allow another genocide to happen right under their nose. Not to mention, the Ukraine President is JEWISH, whose relatives were Holocaust victims. So how tf would neo-Nazis be committing genocide, while a Jewish comedian is President? Make that make sense, Putin. :baffled:


Not gonna lie...As a character designer who enjoys watching/reading well-rounded villains, I'm a bit impressed by how he put a treasonous puppet in the White House for 4 years, thereby manipulating and sowing discord throughout the entire US and weakening NATO (Trump withdrew US from that at some point). It kept the status quo of the world, working in Putin's favor for 4 years. And while the rest of the world was distracted by Trump, the pandemic, and the Winter Olympics...We completely forgot about the madman pulling his strings. And that said madman has basically turned out to be worse than his puppet.

...But this is the kind of impressive villain-shit I expect in FICTIONAL work, not reality. :stare: Now if someone could please cut the head off of the snake first before he nukes the entire planet, even accidentally...That would be fantastic, thanks.


On a somewhat lighter note...

...I've never seen the world this unified before. Day56 - Happy Cry This is the kind of heartwarming response that I've wanted my series to inspire. :meow:

I got back into in-person D&D again...This time, I'm playing Adventures League rules! :happybounce: Last few times, I've played as one of my series' characters, whose homeworld/dimension are inspired by D&D, WoW, LoZ, and LoTR, so she kinda fits perfectly into this stuff. And playing this way helps with character development and world-building. I'm basically hitting 2 birds with 1 stone; having productive fun AND working on my series.


Speaking of D&D...WHEN IS THE SECOND SEASON OF THIS??? :lovely: I'm a little more than halfway through Critical Role's 1st campaign on Youtube, but I'm so ecstatic that they crowdfunded an animated series for it~ Excited Blush The original GM voices every other NPC, and they've even had supporting roles voiced by 2 actors from both LoTR and GoT! Eager dummy

Classes are going well...So far. But we finally started that one area in game design, that I already knew I was gonna struggle with: programming.

...Fuck programming. And my dyscalculia. Grump I could get the very simple scripts to work, but as soon as math was thrown into this computer-language...My math anxiety reared its ugly head at me, like "Surprise, b*tch! La love "

I shouldn't be surprised because I knew "game design" was going to go into that at some point, but WHY, MATH??? I chose an art career to get AWAY from you! Why must you be involved in my fun, artistic endeavors??? :crying: rvmp

Every time I think I figured out a script, the Console throws errors at me and won't play it.

...I just want to learn to do the game art~ Day21 - Cries

I had a job interview today for a QA tester position! I haven't received a positive response to job applications in ages~ I'm hoping they'll have me move forward in the process, so I can finally move away and get out of retail. :la: Spin

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And still haven't figured out how to adult, even at 30. :0u0:

I don't feel 30 either. I feel like I stopped mentally aging in my early 20s and my brain is just: "Nah, fuck that adult stuff. I'm good right here."


Taxes are still speaking Greek to me; instead of nightmares with monsters or disasters, I'm having nightmares about being really late for work; I'm still completely clueless about how to file insurance claims and such...which I've had to do lately.


TL;DR versions:

Someone accidentally backed into my car in late August, and their insurance adjuster from somewhere in Missouri took forever to show proof of payment to the body-shop to finally let them give my car back to me, and is now refusing to pay what he owes on a rental reimbursement because

1. They never really saw the original damage report (because they took their sweet time to respond, and I had to get my insurance to track them down in the first place)

2. They think that since my car was still drive-able (it was cosmetic damage, but it's a lease), the body-shop should've just stopped whatever work they were doing on my car, and let me drive it around whenever I needed to?? IDFK, but they still haven't even fulfilled their promise yet. Sooo...Guess who has to go to Small Claims court??? OHHHH JOY~ Sarcastic la


In October, my bunion on my right foot decided that it had enough of walking around for long hours, 5-6 days a week at work. So I started wearing my medical boot (from when I had tendonitis in the same foot in 2020), just to alleviate the pain/pressure on my bunion. In early December, I switched to a post-op shoe...and the pain was so bad, I went home early from my shift in frustration, and found out that this kind of pain is actually work-related.

So I was sent home the next day, told not to come in until I had a doctor's note. A whole unpaid month, dozens of messages left on voice-mails (that were never returned), and 2 doctor's notes later, I'm finally back on the schedule. But I still have a headache of legal crap to deal with now, concerning my foot-pain and work.


So that's how my new year has started off so far...:grump:

Updates:

:skyblue-orb: I did "Comic Con Special Edition" in November. Honestly, I have never seen crowds that light at SDCC before. Not very decorative either. Pretty much all of the major networks and big companies were absent. According to the news, we had a little more than half the number of attendees than we usually have (usual = 130,000+ people. This one? ~50,000). But it was nice and still fun. Still plenty of cosplayers, everybody had face-masks (had to show recent negative COVID tests OR show vaccination cards before entering), and they often had PSA reminders about wearing masks...I picked up some Loki pins and T-shirt, 4-5 sets of D&D dice, chatted with some nice older ladies about any local D&D groups to look into (I miss playing it), got a Nickelodeon mystery box, wore my new witchy/renaissance-y dress with my dragon puppet and got a full 3D figure of myself. It was so nice to be back at my annual happy place~ :happybounce:


:skyblue-orb: My fall classes went well! Had some technical difficulties during the final projects, and finally figured out what stresses me out the most with Maya (its workspaces are visually overwhelming to look at because there's just sooo much going on and sooo many tools and menus, and it likes to over-complicate the simplest tasks...So I've decided to learn each section of it at a time), but I pulled off 1 A and 2 B's! Flower dance


:skyblue-orb: So because genetics decided to fuck me over by making me inherit foot-problems from BOTH sides of my family...I had a surgery consult today for my bunion, saw the xrays and...Yeeeaaah, there's not supposed to be THAT much space between the 1st and 2nd foot-bones, which would explain why I've been feeling pain on the inside joint of my bunion. :O_o: Revamp Which requires corrective surgery...That means they'll have to break my foot bone and realign it with hardware. Which also means I'll be put under anesthesia.


...Y-Yay? :stare: *nervously Googles how fast anesthesia works, the chances of waking up during surgery, and the chances of not waking up from it at all* :scared:


I've spent my entire 30 years on this Earth avoiding the need for any medical procedures, until now. And that's a pretty good lucky-streak. Hospitals = painful, stabby things and I have a severe phobia with being stabbed by pointy things. scared.... 'the 2nd'


Dunno when it'll be done; we still have to finalize the decision first and schedule it.

But after surgery, I might get to scoot around on a knee-scooter because I won't be able to put any weight on my foot for, like...2-3 months. Scooter Which also means I won't be able to drive during that time; someone will have to drive me around if I have to go anywhere. So that'll be fun~


:skyblue-orb: No, I still haven't made any new stamps. I really want to, but there's just so much other stuff that's higher priority, and I just don't have enough mental effort anymore to sit down and make them. Bleh (2017.22) I'm really sorry~

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Hi. I know it's been a while. Officially working full-time while taking 3 classes has kept me busier than ever. But considering what day it is (and I have a knack for narratives)...I feel like sharing my experience or at least what I had witnessed 3,000 miles away, when I was 9 years old.


Warning: This is definitely going to be a really emotional journal, so...Read at your own risk.


---

I woke up to the normal sound of the shower running in my parents' room. But there was another sound that I never heard during the morning routine; the sound of my parents' TV. The other unusual sign that something had happened was that my dad was still home, even though he was usually already at work in the mornings. But he was still in bed, and was staring at the TV. I think my mom shooed me away then, to finish getting ready for school. So minutes later, I sat down on the floor in front of the TV (another unusual thing in my routine; my parents never let me watch TV before school in the mornings) and it was a live-broadcast of two skyscrapers, and one of them was on fire.


I only vaguely remember bits of the dialogue from that broadcast, but they could already tell that something wasn't right. Someone was speculating it was unintentional, that someone couldn't have deliberately flown a plane into a skyscraper...And others were urging that there was no way the pilots could've not seen the two biggest skyscrapers in the country, not on such a clear morning. And as they kept tossing theories around while waiting for more news on what was going on, something large appearing in the background caught my attention. Within seconds, I recognized "that's a plane," and then "why is it flying really close to buildings...?"


Back then, I hadn't quite grasped the concept that death is permanent yet. My parents supervised me when watching something that featured death or violence...Except for The Lion King. Before that morning, no matter how many times I watched Mufasa's death-scene, it never really fazed me. I felt the same worry and sadness that Simba felt, that his dad is not responding to him and "that's a really bad thing," but...A part of me was still firmly rooted on the fact that "this is a cartoon. This is not real. These characters don't really exist." And because of that notion, the concept of death just kept flying over my head...Until that Tuesday morning.


One second, I saw an intact plane. Next second...Fireball. There were two things I suddenly understood then:

  1. There were people on that plane.

  2. There were also people in that building.

Now no more plane, a big chunk of the building is ripped out and whatever's left is on fire. (Which also clarified to me what happened to the other tower before I walked in.)


I didn't cry or even scream, but it still shook me to my core...Enough to put me in a stunned silence. Those people existed seconds ago. The next second, they were gone. Snuffed out like a candle or in the blink of an eye, a snap of the fingers. Like some magician clapping their hands once, very loudly and explosively, and someone's valuable item hidden under the handkerchief...is suddenly gone. Everything I knew about the world outside my invisible bubble of childhood-naivety instantly shattered; I was no longer confused about death. I'd have to be stupid to still be confused about it, after watching it unfold, live, and in real-time. There was no "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning beforehand...It was right in my face, stark-naked, out in the open. Death couldn't have made itself understood any clearer to me than that, even if it was jumping up and down, waving its arms.


The day before, I saw the world through rose-colored lens. Life seemed happy and full of sunshine and rainbows, and I childishly assumed that it was like that for the rest of the world too. But that naive view did a full 360 and was flipped on its head in a manner of seconds. I couldn't look away from the broadcast after that. They briefly cut to the report of a plane hitting the Pentagon and by then, I could almost feel the entire country starting to dissolve into mass panic and hysteria. And I still sat there in silence, with part of my brain trying to process exactly what the actual fuck I was seeing and trying to make sense of it, while the other half was still reeling from the notion that I just watched real people consumed into a fireball, or whether or not that actually happened. Everything suddenly felt very surreal; it felt like I was watching a disaster-movie playing out, but with all the very real feelings of confusion and fear behind it...I was some minor character in the disaster-movie and watching the destruction from afar.


"Okay, I get it now, Death. Can you please stop?"

Nope. Watching a plane morphing into a fireball wasn't enough. And surprisingly, I don't know why, but I wanted to keep watching. It was terrifying, but half of me still didn't believe what I was seeing. As my mom started dragging me toward the door to school, the top half of the second tower suddenly crumpled in like a soda can. Halfway through the door, I watched the rest of it crumble to the ground...It occurred to me then: "There are people still in there." By the day's end, I knew deep down that I would find out the other tower fell...While there were people still trapped inside.


...I vaguely remember asking my mom on the way to school why this was happening. It was supposed to be a normal workday. Those people were just going to their daily jobs like my mom and dad were. They weren't doing anything wrong. So why would someone do this?

She said something along the lines of "There's bad people in the world who just don't like us, and there wasn't anything we could do to stop this from happening."


That infuriated me. Being morbidly curious about everything, I wanted to know why they hated us, what gave them the motive to attack us like this. But her answer basically told me that nobody really knew why, and implied that they killed those people who weren't hurting anyone...for no reason. To this day, unwarranted murder, destruction, and senseless hate of that magnitude still confuses me and pisses me off. I grew up surrounded by diversity; everyone I encountered was (and is) different, and I was luckily never taught that was bad. People live different lives, so fucking what? Where is the logic in hating people for...what? Simply existing? The same goes for any other mindless bigotry. Why are you so triggered by someone who's different? Are they bothering you? Are they hurting you? Are they having any kind of negative impact on you? No? THEN WTF IS THE PROBLEM?!


It seemed like after that morning, the whole world drastically changed in that short amount of time. This wasn't a gradual change, but it was a jarring, violent change. Al Gore's warning of climate-change devastation, the housing market "bubble" popped, sending the world's economy crashing down for a couple years, the dramatic increase in terrorist attacks everywhere, the "war on terror" (that recently ended on a chaotic note), homegrown terrorism is on the rise, political extremism skyrocketed, gun violence erupted, racism and other kinds of hatred dramatically rose...And that's not even including the natural disasters and multitudes of pandemics the world went through in the following 20 years, not including the current pandemic. We were all still feeling friendly and happy the day before, and then the world took a very sharp turn, straight into the toilet, and lost its mind. And it's been circling the bowl ever since, edging closer and closer to the bottom with every horrible catastrophe. Almost as if 9/11 was a foreboding warning of dark times ahead.


It was the traumatic event that I not only think caused my depression and anxiety to develop (because holy fucking fuck...Whoever is in charge of this planet's fate, this is not the reality I was expecting to inherit upon turning into an adult, I did not sign up for this fucking hell, and I definitely did not want to be the one trying to clean it up!), but in a very weird, bittersweet empowering way, it was also the catastrophe that heavily inspired my daydreams of a better Earth, a much calmer and compassionate planet (where there weren't so many assholes). My enthusiasm for the fantasy-genre and imaginative worlds was also a big help in coping with the tragedy, but yes...I'm also referring to my passion-project, which is turning 17 this month.


It's still weird that was one of the few positive things that somewhat changed my life for the better (a little) after that. But it's no fucking wonder I have the disposition of a goofy-ass nerd who still feels like a kid/teen on the outside, even as an adult, and relies a little on dark humor to stay sane. Reality went to shit that morning, and 20 years later...It's still shit and I'm getting really tired of trying to fix it. The world needs to get its shit back together before we end up offing ourselves into extinction, if this pandemic and any others that may come later don't wipe us out first.

(*side-eye glare at the antivaxxer crowd* ...Yeah, you guys are right at the top of my list of "Things/People That Have Really Worn Out My Patience," with Trumpers and extreme bigots coming in at a very close second.)

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July Updates~

2 min read

If anyone has been streaming Loki on Disney+

...I'ma try not to spoil it (too much) for those who haven't been streaming it, but I can't make any promises because it's hard for me to keep my excitement bottled up.

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE DISNEY SHOW EVER, AND I WANT MOAR OF IT~ :excited:


Gator-Loki is my spirit-animal, 'cause he has a cute, scaly face. :meow:

...And I really need to look up those "Vote Loki" 2016 comics. Because that scream...I spent like 4 hours afterwords, wheezing until my stomach hurt~ :rofl:


Speaking of Loki~

I visited California Adventure, which I hadn't been to in 20 years~ Checked out the "Avengers Campus" that just opened...Tried to find Loki merch~

...There was little to none. :sadtard: Only classic comic-version Loki stuff, no MCU-Loki.

The other disappointment was that the art shop at the "Animation Academy" building didn't have a lot of animation-focused stuff. Mostly really expensive paintings and drawings. I was hoping for an animation book~ But they had turned their old animation desks and the discs into part of the decorations. And had etched a giant copy of an animation frame from "Dumbo" into the cement outside! La love So despite that they didn't have what I was looking for, the animation-fan in me was still in heaven~ :lovely:


And I'm getting all passing grades in my Game Design class! :lawoo: No tests, no programming/coding...Just textbook reading, some short assignments, and lectures. I have a 93% in the class so far~

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:lovelymelt: *quiet, squealing, happy noises*

I missed my favorite Marvel villain/antihero/Norse god so much~

Him and all his adorable chaotic evil-ness on screen every Wednesday night starting on the 9th (it got pushed ahead), is the perfect way to end my work-week. Just having this to look forward to every Wednesday is enough to get me through my 6 days of retail-hell.

:0u0: AND IN OTHER NEWS~ :0u0:

...Hi. I still live. I'm sorry I've been AWOL on here...and not working on stamps like I said I would. Why it's always the green one I've been trying to keep a list of them, but...I don't seem to have the time to update the list. I barely have the energy to even write stamp-ideas down. So I'm afraid that until I can get my life together and into a more productive drive, stamps are still stuck on hiatus. Feel free to blame that on my fucking depression that's still relentlessly kicking my ass. Bunny Emoji-85 (OTL orz down or regret) [V5]


It might be because I'm still struggling with some personal issues for the last few months. I'm just so tired of being tired and having little to no motivation in being creative because there's just too much effort in it, and I don't have the energy nor the time to put in the effort because my hellish retail-job sucks all of the energy out of me every day, so I don't have enough to do any kind of work afterwords...and why bother when there's a 95% chance I won't even finish the art anyway?? :grump:


I did catch a brief respite early last month, by getting time off from work for a whole week to go to my bro's graduation in Colorado....Which I was kinda hoping would be more exciting because YAAAAY, SIGHT-SEEING~ But no, it was mostly driving for 2.5 days across state-lines to go pick up my bro, all of his crap, and haul them straight back home. There was no time for any sight-seeing. Oh, and during the trip home, my period decided to sucker-punch me with IBS-C symptoms...and then fully rear its ugly head at me the day we get back, like "SURPRISE, BITCH. THAT WAS ME ALL ALONG~ Fool Emoji-43 (Evil) [V5] "


And my lil' bro's academic achievements briefly turned my depression into jealousy/sibling rivalry ("A Bachelor of Science, 2 minor degrees, AND YOUR DREAM-JOB STRAIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE?! I'm proud of you, but also...You lucky lil' shit. :notimpressed: ")...Which I somehow turned into some much-needed motivation. It lit a fire under my ass, inspiring an interest to go back to school and try earning an Associate degree or 2 in Game Design and/or Graphic Design to go along with my BFA (which hasn't really done me any good in the last 6 years, except help me get a job as a game tester for half a year). So I start an intro-class in Video Game Design later this month. :lawoo:

(I let you beat me in height, little bro, since I can't do anything about that because genetics...But like hell, will I let you be the only successful child in this family! TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME, BRO! :angry: )


...Some good news! :Dummy La:

Dot Bullet (Rainbow) - F2U! I've been fully vaxxed since early April! So has my entire family! My dad's surviving mother, my mom's parents made it through with very few COVID cases at their assisted living residence, my parents and bro has been fully vaxxed...And nobody that I know of who tested positive for COVID needed hospitalization, had no long-lasting symptoms, and are also fully vaxxed now! PARTY HARD

(1st shot: my arm felt like it got hit by a fully-loaded bus the next day. Compared to the effects of a flu shot, on a 1-10 pain scale...Flu shot is 2-3. My immune system seems to be so accustomed to whatever's in the seasonal flu vaccine, the slight muscle-ache afterwords is damn near unnoticeable: "Oh, this thing again? Okay, no problem. :yawn" Moderna vaccine?? That was more of a 5-6. The 2nd dose was where my arm complained with every little movement, because I had to work that same day. There was also a little redness around the injection, some slight swelling, and I felt extra tired than usual...It was like my immune system was slightly confused by it. :baffled: )


Dot Bullet (Rainbow) - F2U! California fully reopens June 15th! About 70% of adults are now partially vaxxed, with 52% fully vaxxed. And the local County Fair is finally coming back next week, so me and a friend are gonna try to get tickets on our day off.


Dot Bullet (Rainbow) - F2U! My old 3-Day Disneyland pass from last year, that I used only once before the pandemic...IS STILL VALID! Disneyland still recognized both ticket-numbers on mine and a friend's ticket, since they had extended their expiration dates until December 2021, so I've already reserved a day in July to go to California Adventure (which I haven't visited since it was first opened 20 years ago). Then we're hoping to reserve a day in October, during "Gay Days" at Disneyland, to use up our 3rd day on the tickets (my friend has never seen how it looks during Halloween either, so YEEEEEEE, I'm so taking them on the "Nightmare Before Christmas"-themed Haunted Mansion ride~ :lovely: ).


Comic-Con is still cancelled this summer (until maybe November), but I've made it through a deadly pandemic with my loved ones in good health and I'm fully vaxxed, so I'm itching for a summer of fun! Even if I still have to wear a mask and flash my vax-card to do it because COVID can go suck a giant bag of dicks. (amazonite double 8th "Can't touch this~" Day12 - Music )

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Stamp Feature #83 by World-Hero21, journal

This is fine~ *sarcasm* by World-Hero21, journal

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Stamp Feature #82 by World-Hero21, journal

Stamp Feature #81 + Happy Holidays~ by World-Hero21, journal