REQUEST: Trust issues

_{Requested by MiniDiren}

"I have trust issues and if you take advantage of my kindness, you don't deserve my friendship or trust."

This one I actually do have something to say, because I'm the same way.

I've been stabbed in the back and lied to before. In some severe ways and in some trivial ways. For example, at work, I've had people tell me they've already finished a task...Only to find out the next day that it actually wasn't done. This has led me to have a perfectionist habit of double-checking to make sure everything is actually finished, even if someone says it is. This is also why I never take people's word on anything and why I actually prefer to work alone sometimes.

In more severe ways: I've been thrown under a bus and accused of shit I've never done. Example: the last he contacted me, he accused me of never once helping him...Even though I still have concrete proof against him on that. In another example, I've also had some guy (who I thought was just a new friend from school) make unwarranted sexual advances on me (he couldn't keep his hands off of me in a movie theatre). It wasn't hurtful, luckily, but I was a little mentally shaken up for a few days, felt disgusting, and I avoided the guy like the plague. (I did report him in...Sort of. I at least mentioned it to an administrative staff on school campus who knew him well.) And for a while, I was apprehensive about anyone else who tried to flirt with me (actually, I'm still nervous and uncomfortable with people flirting with me) and had some commitment issues with dating afterwords.

...That's why I have trust issues. With brand new people to work with, I don't know you very well and until I feel fine around you, I have a hard time putting a lot of faith in you. So it's not really you, it's just me.

(I've had to explain this to a co-worker recently; they got a little annoyed with my persistent double-checking of tasks they did.)


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